If you have been blocked by me on social media, Whatsapp, Telegram and/or other messaging platforms, especially since September 2024, it generally means that I have very strong reason to suspect one or more of the following:

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• You have betrayed my trust in a significant way, even if you are a dreamkeeper or dreamdancer to me, especially with regards to Kristang or to the Singapore state.

• You were lying to me about your true assessment of me and your actual level of comfort or discomfort with me being gay, non-binary, neurodivergent and/or polyamorous, and/or my leadership of the Kristang community, and/or actively trying to deconstruct, dehumanise or disdain any of these identity facets or others that are core to me.

• You have a close relationship with someone or an institution who has traumatised me in the past and I am unable to determine, whether using neurotypical or autistic standadrds, where your loyalties lie.

• You were trying to manipulate me or condition me into serving the needs of the Singapore state or the exallos.

• You are actively and intentionally impeding your own processing of your own trauma or individuation such that it has a negative and direct impact on me.

• You appear to have intended or still intend to rape, molest or sexually violate me, even if you are a dreamkeeper or dreamdancer.

• You appear to have actually raped, molested or sexually violated me while I was unconscious at some point in the past, even if you are a dreamkeeper or dreamdancer.

• You appear to have sought to construct a MeToo-type situation using rape, molest or sexual violation, or through misreporting or mischaracterisation of a sexual encounter with me, to entrap me in a position that would substantially impede and/or end the Kristang revitalisation effort, the work that I do as Merlionsman, and/or the "problem" my existence creates for the Singapore state.

• You lied to me about your own trauma or history of trauma.

• You lied to me and/or led me on about a fundamental part of your own life, goals or long-term designs, especially and often in relation to being gay or queer.

• You lied to me about the level of esteem and/or respect you had for me as your former teacher and/or as Kabesa.

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Provisional documentation and reconstruction of all instances of suspected rape, molest and instances of sexual violation, all attempted or intentions to rape, molest and/or commit any form of sexual violation against me, and all attempts to construct MeToo-type situations against me has begun in Chapters 707, 714, 716, 717, 718 and 719 of the Orange Book since a substantial increase in what appear to be attempted or intentions to rape, molest and/or commit any form of sexual violation against me from some dreamkeepers, ex-students, people from the Kristang community and other family members that I have blocked, beginning from Monday, 18 November 2024 when I began the process of removing myself from most of my social media due to non-stop attempts to force me to want to run for election as a Member of Parliament in the 15th Parliament of the Republic of Singapore. As of Saturday, 11 January 2025, I am currently able to begin to assemble an idea of at least sixty-four of these instances of either suspected rape or the suspected intent to rape, with most occurring after Monday, 18 November 2024.

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All available research about sexual violation in this manner in Western academia indicates that it is very often at its core a failed and very, very misguided attempt to reclaim personal power that the perpetrator or would-be perpetrator falsely and unjustifiably believes the victim has taken from them or will take for them in some way. In combination with my openness about being gay, non-binary and polyamorous, beyond the attempts to make me an evil or exallos-inclined Dragon Reborn early in my childhood, almost every single one of the other instances of violation or would-be violation when it comes to me appears to be because the perpetrator in question could not or cannot deal with their sexual and physical gay homosexual queer same-sex etc. attraction to me, the shame, guilt, self-loathing and self-hatred comparisons to me engender, and the implications all this has for themselves and what they need to accept or process about themselves that they would rather refuse, destroy or obliterate than actually engage with or address. For perpetrators appearing to act on behalf of larger eleidi, the same applies for the eleidi at a large collective-scale. These actions are highly undesirable (and also just really freaking stupid) and so far have only resulted in the net gain of the perpetrators essentially simply digging much bigger psychoemotional holes for themselves. Some of the false problem statements and scripts that appear to be motivating such behaviour include:

• Kev and Fuad (and/or anyone else) will never understand or love the real me because no one will ever understand or love the real me, especially myself

• My problems are incorrigible and unsolvable so I might give in to them as well destroy everything around me, especially in 2025 as everything is already crumbling away

• Kev took away the future I was going to have if he had just kept his mouth shut / played along / allowed me to manipulate him etc.

• Why on earth would I even consider accepting myself as gay, I would lose everything if I came out as gay

• Kev made me gay, I was not attracted to any man before Kev

• I need someone to blame for making me gay and Kev is the easiest target

• People will believe that Kev did something bad to me since people already believe that about gay people and promiscuous or polyamorous people like Kev in general

• Being gay is just inherently traumatic and so Kev is just traumatising me

• Kev just wants to have sex with everything anyway so why not give him what he wants

• If I force myself on Kev in the moment Kev won't be able to tell the difference since he is autistic

• Kev is older than me so people will easily believe he is the aggressor

• Kev was my ex-teacher so people will easily believe he is the aggressor

• Kev is the Kabesa and/or the public figure so people will easily believe he is the aggressor

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For people in this position, I respectfully and gently ask that you leave me, Fuad, my family and the dreamkeepers and friends who do care about and respect me alone, and never ever get in contact with me or us ever again until the feeling of wanting to hurt, obliterate or destroy me has been overcome. Objectively speaking, trying to lean into that feeling has not really produced great (or even satisfactory, or even mediocrely positive) results for other people in the past when it comes to me, including prior authority figures at SJI, CJC and Eunoia, as well as on some occasions what appears to have been the entire Singapore state, and your energy is better invested in working out your own trauma and ending the practice of using me as a mirror or fill-in for your own ego-function of Sombor, or the part of the psyche that deals with truth, acceptance, vulnerability and the future. You may also need to end the practice of comparing yourself so excessively with me (or with anyone in general, but since I am the rape target, me particularly in this case).

 

For a good number of the would-be perpetrators, the script running in the mind seems to be something like "Why does Kev exist? If Kev didn't exist, I would never have to know or recognise how fake and inauthentic my life is, and how much Kev has succeeded at living an authentic life where I have failed, every time I hear about Kev, since almost everyone else in Singapore is so fake and inauthentic and I would be able to not feel so bad about myself fitting in in Singapore as a result.". This and comparisons similar to it are not helpful because they ignore:

• the insane, exhausting and honestly not very recommended-at-all level of trauma, fears and insecurities I repeatedly put myself through a daily basis just to be able to "be authentic" in Singapore, including the trauma and fears surrounding putting a page like this together

• my hereili / geas / magnaarchetype that makes it almost an obligation to myself psychologically to be as authentic as possible in order to be able to unbind the otherwise very binding nature of that intergenerational trauma

• your own agency in this: trying to be authentic like me, or trying to be me, is not helpful to you and ignores who you are, what your superlative potential for excellence or transformation or evolution is, and the unique person and the unique version of authenticity you can be

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For some other individuals whose behaviour is repeating or compounding because you may have successfully raped me in the past due to me being a very deep sleeper whenever I am sleeping next to someone I feel safe with (a fact I only just recognised for myself in December 2024) or successfully made me uncomfortable and therefore "shown your hand / your real, true, supposedly very disgusting and evil self to me" before and somehow want to try and erase what I know of you and who you supposedly really are: this is also not a good use of your time and energy. I will not lower my boundaries or erase my memories or change my direction or reduce my suspicions or suddenly become comfortable with you again, nor will I accept attempts to change or manipulate my image of you if there is no real impetus or reason to do any of this underneath. My boundaries were violated tremendously, painfully and repeatedly especially between September and December 2024, and this has changed, for the better, how I will deal with people in general moving forward.